Snowblind

Friday night it snowed here in Kentucky. I love everything about snow. I'm sure that it is the little Georgia girl in me dying to get out. She only got to play in the snow on very rare occasions, and even when that happened it was for too short of a time. I never exhausted my play time in the snow. Even now, I can't find a way to muster up a disdain for driving and living in the snow. I know that it is an inconvenience, but the magic is so much bigger than that. I love the way the cold catches your breath. I love the way it captures your mind. There are no thoughts when you stand in the middle of snow but the snow itself. There is something inherently playful about snow, even though it is powerfully dangerous.

But, the thought on my mind tonight is how a snow storm happens in what feels like an instant. You go to bed one night in the green lush of grass and trees even a palette of color. And you wake to a transformed world of stark white. Then, we are left dealing with the ramifications there after. What we wear, how we drive, what we do, and so much of our day to day lives adjust because of this outside event. We can't change it; we simply must deal with it.

Isn't that how life happens? One moment falls, and we find ourselves scrambling to reorient ourselves inside this new reality. Whether your snow fall was a car crash, cancer, death, a move, a broken relationship, a lost job, or simple disappointment; may you find a way to see the snow for what it is. Snow changes our lives. But, it waters the ground that will one day thaw and give way to the new life coming in the spring. Beware of the dangers of the cold, but enjoy what is beautiful about the snow when it surrounds you.

What was Mary feeling when she was informed that she was to give birth? Peter when he heard the rooster crow? Paul standing there blinded on Damascus? Jesus walking toward the cross?

Soundtrack: Let it Snow

identity crisis

I have worn black to church every Sunday for the last four weeks. My bulldogs aren't doing well this year, and I wear black to mourn our loss the night before. I am a loyal fan. I am an alumna. Rooting for, fighting for, believing in the bulldogs is a part of my identity. (As much as anything temporal can be.) I will be a bulldog until the day I die. Proudly. We could loose every game from now until that day, and I would still tune in and cheer for my team. I would continue to celebrate the successes, no matter how minor, and mourn our losses no matter how major. Loyalty runs deep when you find yourself in the SEC. This commitment is the kind of loyalty that changes behavior, shapes values, and affects my mood.

On any given Sunday in the south you will find some pastor making the comparison of football as a religion because of the deep truth to it. We can rightly affirm that everything about a Saturday at Sanford Stadium is religious. From tailgating, wearing red and black, to ringing the victory bell; we have a liturgy, and it is followed religiously. I am pretty sure we could call the day my New Student Orientation leader had our group call the dawgs on the steps of the Tate Student Center in the shadows of Sanford Stadium a ritual of initiation.

As I reflect on the disappointment I have experienced this season I recognize similar reactions, feelings, and responses in my person to disappointments that I have had in my spiritual life.

We are given a new identity in Christ when we give our lives over to him. What happens when things do not follow the pattern we expected? What happens when we are disappointed by our God? Have we allowed the identity to so form us that our faith remains? Can we believe that there are no circumstances that could rock the foundation of our commitment to the Lord? Does your relationship with the Lord change your behavior, shape your values, and affect your feelings?

As I look back over this I am burdened to point out that I am not advocating for absolute blind faith, but instead I am encouraging us to walk in the faith that we have. I trust the submission of our lives to the Lord came with an appropriate season of testing and critical analysis. I wasn't born a UGA fan, but once I chose to be a bulldog, there was no turning back. That means I take the good with the bad as a fan, but as a Christian, true faith is commitment to the point of martyrdom if necessary, to singleness if necessary, to poverty if necessary, to disappointment if necessary. Faith is giving up one's own identity to join Jesus even to the cross for the sake of the world.

Soundtrack: Who let the dogs out, Baha Men; Glory Glory; & Sending, Charlie Hall.

three times the charm

Three times this week this passage has crossed my path:

Mark 10:46-52 NRSV

They came to Jericho. As he and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus, son of Timaeus, a blind beggar was sitting by the roadside. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many sternly ordered him to be quiet, but he cried out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stood still and said, “Call him here.” And they called the blind man, saying to him,“Take heart, get up, he is calling you.” So throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. Then Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man said to him, “My teacher, let me see again.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your faith has made you well.” Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way.

I have a way of stopping and paying attention when the Lord brings a passage of scripture into my life, particularly when he does it in triplicate. I have a way of stopping and paying attention when the Lord does anything in my life in triplicate. It's kind of hard to ignore or to pass off as coincidence.

I am taking Inductive Bible Study on the book of Mark, and we recently did a book survey. I spent some extra time with this passage as I considered how Mark employed the use of Jesus as "teacher" in his gospel. Then, Tuesday night in my lyric and theology class another student used this story as the basis of his song. Then today during Vocation of Ministry we read this passage when we were doing Lectio Divina in our small group. So, I'm paying attention.

The part that really jumps out at me immediately is that the blind man sprang up to Jesus. He knew who Jesus was, and was moved to exuberance. He was compelled to respond. No, not just respond. Do you see him, the eagerness? I see him leaping up. He probably stumbled getting over to Jesus. He was blind, you know. But the sense of abandonment and urgency compelled him.

And, I find it difficult to ignore the fact that Bartimaeus threw off his cloak. Anytime someone gets naked in the Bible i am intrigued. Not that I am advocating for nudity in church, mind you, but what would happen if encountering Christ meant that we let go of everything that covered up our shame? What if we let go of the things we put on to cover up ourselves? What if our hearts were naked before the Lord... So that when he asks us, "What do you want from me?" We can be real. What if we could be honest with the Lord about what we really want? What if we were aware of our brokenness in such an honest way?

In some private time with the Lord today he reminded me of my place in this passage. He reminded me that my prayer life regularly includes the phrase, "Have Mercy!" In fact, it may be the phrase that I write most frequently in my journal. You see, I know enough to know that I continue to find myself awake in the world that knew Lost Jill. Jill without Jesus resided on earth, and without HIM in my life everyday, I am still that person. I depend on His mercy for each day.

This of course gave way for new considerations of this passage. I find myself at a stage in life where I am actively responding to the call of God on my life. And, there are parts of that call that I find myself crying out to the Lord even louder for mercy. I need him to show up. He invites me closer, and I let go of the things that cover my shame to earnestly ask Him what I want. He is faithful, and He will make me whole in every way that I desire. This is our God.

I have spent time in my life wondering if I wasted years between college and seminary. I wondered if I missed something by needing the excursion. Here's what Tomlin says,

A refuge for the poor
A shelter from the storm,
This is our God.

He will wipe away your tears
And return your wasted years.
This is our God.


He's the God that wastes nothing!

Soundtrack: This is our God, Chris Tomlin

discipleship

My brother took his daughters to Disney World this week. The twins (Ella/Emma) are 5, having just started kindergarten, Ava is 3 and 1/2 (the 1/2 is important), and Allie will be 2 this week. They are at great ages to enter into the world of make-believe and story telling that Disney does so well. I forced my sister in law to post pictures of the trip ASAP because I would have LOVED to have been there when Ella met Cinderella or Emma plunged down Thunder Mountain. I have looked through them several times now, and something jumped out at me. Allie looks in one of 2 directions in pictures. 1 straight toward the camera like the ham her mother and aunt are or 2. toward her sisters. I can't help but consider what this says about our nature when we are most teachable and when we are most vulnerable. She had been thrust into a different world, quite literally, and in that space needed a point of reference. She needed to find what felt like home. She needed to feel safe while enjoying the newness. So, she looked toward her big sisters who have served as teachers and comforters in the 24 months of her life. Her eyes seem to ask a thousand questions: Is this OK? Why does everything look so different? Why are you so excited? Can you tell me that I'm safe? Why are we waiting so long? Why are you tired? What are we going to do next? When do we go home? How do I take some of this home with me?

What does that say about discipleship? Who are we looking toward as we navigate our journey with the Lord? When do we look at them? Are we in situations that feel foreign enough to need a reference point? Are you uncomfortable? Do you have people that the Lord uses to give you a sense of safety when you don't feel safe?








Soundtrack: It's a Small World Afterall

intimacy

Today was Convocation, and it was hectic. Some convocation services can best be described as frivolous and over indulgent. (I have never attended an ATS convocation service, so that comment is not a reflection on any institution. Rather, it is a comment on all convocation services around the world.) The prayer over today was that all that was done in Estes would capture our attention toward the vastness and greatness of our God. I believe that was accomplished.

I could talk about Dr. Tennent's sermon which embodied the direction of this institution, Missional Holiness. But, you really should just listen to it yourself.

http://www.asburyseminary.edu/chapel/kentucky-chapel Follow the instructions there. It may not be up yet, but check back in until you get a chance to listen.

I could talk about how overwhelmed I am that I get to do this. I get to worship in Estes 3 days a week. I get to participate in the execution of that worship. I get to use my gifts, the quirky culmination of how God created me, to His glory in the most satisfying ways.

I could talk about the thunderous roll of the organ.

But instead, I want to tell you about this little moment that I saw. I know other people saw it, but it was too good to keep to myself. Following Dr. Tennent's address we sang a new Hymn by the talented and humble Julie Tennent, Dr. Tennent's wife. It too was titled Missional Holiness. This is a team that shares a vision. She brought melody and he brought power to the vision and calling that they share. When we were completing the last stanza he looked over at her and just raised his eyebrows with a goofy grin. She smiled and dropped her head. The intimacy of their love for one another as it serves the Lord took my breath. Beautiful. The Lord created us to enjoy THIS kind of intimacy. May it be so in your life and in mine!

Soundtrack: Missional Holiness, Julie Tennent

Do This... The Meal is the Mission

One of my absolute favorite things about community life here at Asbury is the Reader. We join together and read scripture through a devotional during Kingdomtide and Lent. When I was taking classes online in Conyers, this was one of the things that made me feel connected to Wilmore, and as a writer I find the power of words, not just words but scripture, binding us together to be comforting. I have long believed that the written word holds a unique power in that it can minister despite time and space. For instance, YOU can participate in the Common Text Project with me even if you are in NYC; Oxford, England; Conyers, Georgia; Flowery Branch, Georgia; or Carmichaels, PA. As we prepare to return to school we are rolling out the Fall Reader which is titled Do This: The Meal is the Mission. I hope it is as a powerful a blessing to you as it has been to me. The posts will appear everyday at 12:01 am.

To join me in this journey. You can read it daily at:


http://www.asburyreader.com/


or, follow the link on that page to order a copy. I assure you that you will be blessed.


If a twittersized portion is all you can take follow us at:


http://twitter.com/Twiturgy


Soundtrack: My Drink, Charlie Hall

Holy.

Holy.



There is only one word. There is only one truth.



Holy.



He is.



He is Holy.



We can spend, no waste, all of our lives simply begining to want to think about his Holiness, and be fortunate to fail. The smoke fills the temple, and when we turn towards the temple, we can't help but be affected by it.



Nothing in Him is apart from His Holiness.



All that we know; all that we can't know is in His Holiness.



Justice is really just another way of saying God is Holy.



Love is an expression of the fact that God is Holy.



Grace exist because He is.



Holy.



He is Holy.



Holy.



Wholly what I am not. Wholly what I don't deserve. Wholly what I need.



Holy.



He is Holy.



Holy.



Soundtrack: Unchanging, Chris Tomlin

thanksgiving

I took Sacramental Theology with Dr. Robert Stamps and Dr. James Hart the second week of August. Luckily we had a paper in that class, so I won't bore you with ALL of my geeked-out thoughts and reflections from the material. However, it affected me and my understanding of who we are as Christians and what it means to worship the triune God in a continuous wave of inspiration. I find that this paradigm shift continues to bring new light to scripture, the activity of worship, and the way I frame my thoughts about God. Expect to continue to hear about this class over the next few months.

We read Alexander Schmemann's For the Life of the World. He said, " When man stands before the throne of God, when he has fulfilled all that God has given him to fulfill, when all sins are forgiven, all joy restored, then there is nothing else for him to do but to give thanks. Eucharist (thanksgiving) is the state of perfect man. Eucharist is the life of paradise. Eucharist is the only full and real response of man to God's creation redemption and gift of heaven. But this perfect man who stands before God is Christ."

Is that what you are thinking when going forward at communion? Are you thankful? Are you ever mindful of the cross? What would the church look like if we stopped trying to make worship about us? Why are we so preoccupied with the musical aspect of worship? What would happen if we became preoccupied with the proper way to celebrate the Eucharist? How would that attitude of thanksgiving permate the way we live our lives the rest of the week? Is it possible that our misunderstanding of the sacraments has led to a decline in the faithfulness of Christians? How does a low view of the Eucharist affect our theology? Grace requires a response, and thankfully we have a guide in how to respond to God’s grace through the sacraments. As we, the body of believers, respond the good news appropriately go forth, the faithful are strengthened and the lost drawn to Him.



Soundtrack: Priceless Treasure, Charlie Hall and Give Thanks to the Lord, Wesley Praise Band



Backpack:
Worship, Community & The Triune God of Grace; James Torrance
The Sacraments in Protestant Practice and Faith; James F. White
For the Life of the World, Alexander Schmeman
The Altar's Fire; Daniel B. Stevick

awareness of his presence

A friend told me a story this week. She said that she saw a couple planning to marry on a morning talk show. When they were pulling together childhood pictures for the obligatory slide show for the rehearsal dinner, the bride noticed something quite unexpected. There in the background of her posing at Disney World stood her now groom to be. The man with whom she would spend the rest of her life stood feet away from her long before she had the emotional, sociological, or developmental capacity to understand who and what he would be to her. How amazing. I can't help but relate this to our spiritual lives. How often do we find ourselves unable to recognize how our Great God is meeting us. He meets us in the ordinary. He meets us in the extraordinary. Every place that we don't expect him to be, he is there.

Please don't read that I consider her husband to be her savior, but instead see her unawareness of his presence. May we pause and confess our inabilities to recognize the presence of the Holy Spirit in situations that feel mundane and secular. May we learn to see the kingdom come!

Soundtrack: Been there before, Hanson

no where I'd rather be...

I drove up to my house tonight, and there it was. Sigh. The most beautiful sight I could hope to see... the twelve most important people in my life were all playing in my parents' front yard. They were laughing and enjoying one another, and then to top it off family member number 13, Allie- the 23 month old saw my car and she stopped what she was doing to clap. She was applauding my arrival, the completion of our little clan. Joy comes sometimes in the smallest of moments, but that was one of mine: My family enjoying the rare opportunity to spend mindless time together is more beautiful than I can describe. God hard wires us to want to be close to the ones we love. It's one of the tools he uses to help us understand the mystery of the Trinitarian relationship to which we are invited.

Sound track:
Zip a Dee Doo Dah, Bing Crosby.

Backpack - FYI

Earlier I instituted a new element to this blog called "soundtrack" where I list songs that are related to the post. Simmilarly, books affect me, and I hope to influence you toward the way God has shaped me through the books I have read. Therefore, in the future if a post was strongly shaped by a book or books I will list the theoretical contents of my backpack.

Soundtrack: Read my Mind, The Killers

the Holy Spirit knows soooo much more than me

I am working on the Asbury Reader (a devotional for the ATS community) for the fall, helping to get scripture, and quotes in the right format. I am amazed how how many times there are connections among the texts or with the text and the day on which it falls. For instance, I forgot to be mindful of 9/11 when I was placing the "Do This" (a daily challenge to the community to incorporate action with devotion: we are using a list Shane Claiborne composed) and when I went back to check what was placed there I found this...

DO THIS
Organize a prayer vigil for peace outside a weapons manufacturer such as Lockheed Martin. Read the Sermon on the Mount out loud. For extra credit, do it every week for a year. Then befriend a soldier and his/her family.

I love that the Holy Spirit has a way of being comforting and challenging even in the publication of a devotional. The process is long and tedious, and happens months before the reader is ever used by anyone. I expect people to think that texts that relate to one another or the collective heart of those reading it were chosen intentionally by man, but I assure you that most of the time the right words for the right day were there before I ever thought to check up on them. They were intentional, just by the One who knows us best!

Soundtrack: Peace, Third Day.

It's a green new day

I was driving back to Georgia yesterday, and I caught a portion of the Fresh Air broadcast on NPR. Terry Gross interviews people from pop culture in a distinctly intelligently conversational way. I highly recommend Fresh Air. She was interviewing Billy Joe Armstrong, the frontman for Green Day about the adaptation of their album American Idiot into a Broadway play. I am a nominal fan of Green Day, but I was intrigued by the concept of a punk album turning into a Broadway show and how insane that felt to me. I remember hearing him talk about the back lash they got from the punk community for their fame. He said that he viewed their willingness to participate in that system as being the most punk thing they could do. They were going against the machine of what punk had become. I've always considered his perspective to be interesting, and so I listened.

Terry asked Billy Joe to describe the source of the apparent anger in his music and what generated so much anger in his teen years. He says, "Feeling lost. I always say that in every song I write whether it's a love song, a political song, or something, or a song about family, the one thing I find is that feeling lost and trying to find your way. I think a song like American Idiot is a series of questions, ya know. I think Holiday is a series of questions. It's like you're trying to battle your way out of your own ignorance. And that's where it gets personal. It's like I don't want to be an American Idiot. What I want to be is, I'm not sure. I just want more, and I'm willing to take the risks to try to get out of that, ya know, or try to find something more."

America... Church, this is a perfect description of the mind of a teenager. They feel lost. What are we going to do?

http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/rundown.php?prgId=13&prgDate=5-27-2010

Soundtrack: Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day

Furious Love

Furious Love, sequel to Finger of God, is the story of one man’s journey into some of the darkest spiritual climates on earth to test the limits of God’s love. Watch his discovery and witness God’s response to the demon possessed in Africa, the heroine addicts of Madrid, and witches in Salem, Massachusetts. See this love in relentless pursuit of the persecuted church in India and the oppressed victims of sex trafficking in Thailand. This journey of LOVE will leave you undone and must be experienced to be believed. (Taken from the website)

A friend of mine stopped me in the door to tell me that a group of people would be watching a movie in the fellowship room that evening. She invited me to join them. "A movie in the fellowship room" could range from something as ridiculous as The Men Who Stare at Goats to the intensity of Black Hawk Down.

This movie, however, was a different kind of movie watching experience. This was not just for escapism, but instead for spiritual growth and greater understanding of the spiritual realm. Furious Love is not propaganda; it is intentional.

One young man in the movie was describing a time when he was among refugees that were under persecution. Christians were being slaughtered left and right. He was afraid for his life, and he was asked to speak to those worshipping God in the midst of the most horrific circumstances. He didn't know what to say to them. He recounted the internal struggle of discerning what to say like this: "I felt because in a place like that you can't say cheap stuff. You can't just say, 'Just have faith. God will protect you...' after families are slaughtered. It's not that simple." I don't recall if he told us what he did say to them. I don't know if that is the point. The desperation of that moment speaks for itself. The depth of the assurance of God's pressence regardless of the brokenness and darkness of their current circumstances speaks more than anything this young man could have said.

Why are we satisfied with cheap stuff? Are those in persecution blessed to endure that kind of suffering? What would it take for the Western Church to be dissatisfied with cheap words? I don't have answers for these questions, but I am assured that these are the questions we should be asking.

http://www.furiouslovethemovie.com/

http://wanderlustproductions.com/

Soundtrack: Perseverance of the Saints, The O.C. Supertones

i heart that little man

"I am not afraid that the people called Methodists should ever cease to exist, either in Europe or America. But I am afraid, lest they should only exist as a dead sect, having the form of religion without the power. And this undoubtedly will be the case, unless they hold fast both the doctrine, spirit and discipline with which they first set out." John Wesley

Wesley - duh

Soundtrack- Come Thou Long Expected Jesus, Charles Wesley

loves like a huricane

"The love I'm singing about in that song is really... is not a pretty/clean... it's not a Hollywood, hot-pink love. It's a kind of love that's willing to love things that are messy and willing to love even the difficult and sort of kinda gross kind of things." John Mark McMillan on his process of writing How He Loves. He wrote this song in response to his honest feelings about the Lord during the tragic death of a close friend. He talks about his anger and how God can love us through that. How beautiful. "He wasn't offended at the fact that I was angry at God." For those of you, for those of us, who have lost someone significant in our lives, hear the good word that God is with us in that moment. He is a part of our pain. Praying for the Swaneys. I continue to share your loss. He continues to share your loss.

I remember a sholder in college that I got snotty in unashamed weeping.

I am thankful for the cross.

May you remember the love of God that is willing to love things that are messy and difficult. May you not be confined to a hot-pink Hollywood love from the Lord.

Soundtrack: How He Loves, Kim Walker (kills it)

Kaiteur Coffeehouse

I got an email today informing me that Kaiteur will be closing. Kaiteur is a local owned coffee shop in Conyers, GA, my home town. I mourn this reality. For years I have taken a stance against Starbucks, and invested my time and money into local owned coffee shops. I have several friends that work at Starbucks, so I have been informed of all of the "great" things that Starbucks does for communities. However, I will never be convinced that any of the good they do justifies this or justifies the closing of Blue Sky or the closing of innumerable local owned places just like it. Moose is a good man, and his family pursued a dream. I will always champion the pursuit of dreams over the growth of a corporation. Long live Jittery Joe's, Gallery Espresso, Main & Maple, and Solomon's Porch. Thank you for giving me an environment to love, study, laugh, and cry. I would be a different person without you.

If you're going to drink coffee, drink local. Eat local. Buy local. Support your local economy. It's worth keeping the dreams alive.

http://www.kaiteurcoffeehouse.com/

Soundtrack: Falling in love at a Coffee Shop, Landon Pigg

you gotta have faith

I am writing a paper for Old Testament about the usefulness of the historical-critical method in understanding scripture. One of the articles I read includes the following quote, “The challenge should not be feared or neutralized by the generalization that the scholarship behind it is uncertain and never unanimous- that has always been so, but that does not free the Church from the obligation of using the best scholarship available. Scripture would not be the word of God if it always confirmed Christians or the Church, for the God who inspired Scripture is a God whose thoughts are not our thoughts.” (What the Biblical Word Meant and What it Means, p. 43-44)

What do we have to lose from embracing the historical-critical method but greater understanding of our transcendent God? Reluctance to use this method reveals a lack of faith in the presence of God among his people. I don't understand Christians that resist using a more academic/objective look at Scripture. If we truly have faith, then we have nothing to lose. We should seek truth over tradition. The Biblical-critical method enables us to get at the truth. If we hold to sola Scriptura, then we should give the text the authority that we claim to give it.

“Sometimes we spend too much effort in protecting Jesus from things Jesus might not wish to be protected from. We have spent too much time protecting the God who inspired the Scriptures from limitations that He seems not to have been concerned about. The impassioned debate about inerrancy tells us less about divine omnipotence (which presumably allows God to be relaxed) than about our own insecurity in looking for absolute answers.” (The Human Word of the Almighty God, p.18)

I must consider how it feels to confess as a church that we are insecure about our faith. We don't trust God to be the absolute answers, and so we seek to grasp the absolute answers, which if we were allowing God to be who he is, we would know that we can not know the absolute answers. What do we have to lose by using this method if we genuinely have faith? If we fear losing our faith by investigating the text, then do we really have faith? If you have it for real, you don't fear losing it because you would be crazy to let it go. It defines you. It is more real than anything discoverable.

Soundtrack: Show Me What I'm Looking For, Carolina Liar

the body of Christ

Ezekiel 37 The Valley of Dry Bones
1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." 4 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath [a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' " 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. 9 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' " 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. 11 Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' "

We are called the body of Christ, not the skeleton of Christ. This passage comes to mind following two experiences this week. In chapel on Tuesday I was struck by the fervor of the community. There was a tangible kind of buzzing excitement in the air. Maybe it is because the board is here. Maybe students are simply begining to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows? But, there was something different. In reflection, I can't help but consider that the sheer volume of people in attendance must have contributed to the difference. There are chapel services when we feel like the skeleton of Christ, when we feel like just the remnint of the faithful. But, when the chapel is full, it is easy to believe that we are indeed the worshipping body of Christ.

Secondly, in Old Testament today we were talking about the contrast between the covenant at Sianai and the new covenant, particularly how Jeremiah and Ezekiel prophesy the hope of the new covenant. This passage in particular is the declaration that God is starting a new relationship with his people. He has brought us new life! Why do we try to continue to live as the dead, when we have recived the word made flesh and the breath of new life?

Soundtrack: Dry Bones, Onehundred Hours (OK, this might be cheating because this song is really just the Ezekeil passage read over some hard core music, but... technically it is a song.)

The babies are coming!

I can not contain my excitement! I anticipate the release of this particular movie in a special joy like I haven't felt in a long time. I remember being this excited about Life is Beautiful, Passion of the Christ, March of the Penguins, and The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Entertainment Weekly gave it a two page spread, and I fear many of you have no idea that its coming. So, let me be the first one to inform you about Babies!

Babies! is a documentary by "french filmmaker Thomas Balmes who spent close to two years tracking the everyday triumphs and discoveries of four babies, hailing from the far reaches of Namibia, Mongolia, Japan, and America. The story told without a single word of narration (or much dialogue beyond giggles, cries, and coos), slides from child to child, chronicling not only their journeys from birth to walking age, but also the unique culture of parenting and community that surrounds them. (EW, May 7, 2110)

Making a documentary interesting challenges even the best director, but doing so without narration is nearly unthinkable. That is the compelling nature of babies. They draw us into the wonder of their world. If you have seen the trailer, you will remember that the opening scene runs for 39 seconds. It ends with one of the babies biting his friend. Compelling.

To know me is to know that I love people and that a large portion of that love is directed toward children. I am blessed with six of the coolest nieces and nephews on the planet, and their lives and love have added to my life beyond measure. But even before I became an aunt I loved children. The innocence. The pure receptivity of love. The freedom of joy. It's contagious. We need children in our lives to remind us of the image of God within us. The older we get and the more broken we get we find ways to mask that image. What a better way to understand the unity and diversity of God than to see the breadth of his creation in its truest form across four different cultures?

Mark my words, it will win best documentary next year. It may win best foreign film. This is a movie ready to rock the world. It is only showing in 500 theaters. Find one near you. Go! Support a film that is about something of value, even if it never mentions the name of Jesus. What better way to celebrate the image of God within us?

http://www.focusfeatures.com/focusfeatures/film/babies/overview

Soundtrack: Jesus Loves Me

Pet Cannon

During class tonight Dr. Wood brought up the idea that many pastors preach from a pet cannon, that they preach from a selective set of scriptures. He used the preaching of hell by Billy Graham as an example. He was using this as an argument for preaching from the lectionary and the creeds. I think this is an excellent point. We may have verses or passages or themes that resonate more with us, but if we are believing Christians, we MUST affirm the doctrine that is ecumenical. It is unfair to the new believer, to the seeker, to the stagnant faithful to ignore the fullness of the gospel.

Soundtrack: Unchanging, Chris Tomlin

Theological Reflection

I am supposed to be writing a Theological Reflective paper about my own spiritual journey. (Why do I feel like I should cite this phrase because it comes directly from the assignment?) We are to use Oden's "Order of Salvation" as a guideline to discussion. And, I can't help but ponder how odd that is. And, I consider how good that is. And, how hard that is. It's odd because somehow it implies that my spiritual journey could somehow be wrong. What does it mean if my means of salvation, if my story does not follow the pattern set forth? It is good because it forces us to think about our own faith theologically. The next time I tell my testimony I am sure to include information about preveniant grace and label the seasons of sanctification as such. I will be sure to talk about my assurance of salvation, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It's hard because real life is messy, and we don't think in theological terms in the moments of our lives. This makes it difficult to reflect back and rename a moment "regeneration" or "Sealing of the Holy Spirit." For that matter, how do you discuss those things when you weren't paying attention to them, and all of a sudden, they were there. God often works in my life in a way that I realize an absence of a sinful attitude or there is a soft awareness of a change in my heart. But, it didn't happen in a "moment" which makes for difficult story telling. Plot is a useful tool in story telling. When the activity occurs in the spiritual realm, how do we describe it?

Soundtrack: Sing Like the Saved, David Crowder Band and Mighty to Save, Hillsong United

relationship frenzy

It's awesome and sometimes necessary to create an environment that intimacy is known and visible and overt with the Lord in a worship setting. It pleases him for us to expressively demonstrate our love for him. Sometimes we worship like we are in the frenzy of a new relationship. However, during a recent time of worship I noticed that the most spirit-filled person in the room was the least expressive. It was this older gentleman who has traveled the world on mission trips and has healed possibly hundreds of thousands of people. He no longer has anything to prove in his relationship with the Lord. His relationship frenzy was years ago, but the closeness remains. It's the second naivete. His relationship is so deep, so intimate that he doesn't need the outward signs to which we cling. I am reminded of the depth of love present between a couple that has been married for most of their lives simply sitting on the porch. That is where this gentleman was. He is in that place of intimate presence with the Lord all the time. He's been there, done that so much that simply shifting his gaze toward the Lord invokes memory of love and deep adoration beyond anything the rest of us can imagine. He knows abide. Do I? Do you?

On a side note, these are his words when he was discussing his healing ministry:

"I always ask the Father what to do. I tell him that if there's someone here that needs prayer, I will pray for them. It's that simple. I'm not a healer. He does the healing." And then he asked if anyone needed prayer. It's that simple.

Soundtrack: Made to Worship, Chris Tomlin and Faithful, Enter the Worship Circle (2nd Circle)

Radical

"Repentance is incomplete or insincere if it does not resolve to lead a new life. It seeks a true and accurate recollection of misdeeds without false humility. It does not suggest loss of appropriate self-esteem but rather requires a higher valuing of oneself by becoming radically honest before God so as to put one's feet on the way to recovery. It does not imply a diminishing or personal identity but an honoring and clarifying of one's personal identity through candid self-confrontation" (Oden, Classic Christianity, p.568).

Other than being trendy sometime in the 80's, the word "radical" isn't used that often. We are afraid to be radical. We fear stepping out as exceptionally extreme. We shy away from drastic uncompromising behavior, particularly in honesty. In a culture of plastic surgery and rampant dishonesty, what would happen if the church were radically honest before God?

One of my friends at seminary embodies this. Bryan is the most honest person I have ever met in my life. There is no pretense with him. If he doesn't understand something, he asks, without a thought of how it will make him look. He is compelled to disclose the kinds of things that most people would try to hide. For example, in church on Sunday his first response to my noticing he was more dressed up than usual was to show me that he was wearing white socks with dress slacks. That kind of honesty is refreshing. It is radical. Surely we can not appreciate or experience new life without a willingness to be radically honest before the Lord.

I am also interested in this phrase of "higher valuing" of oneself. When we see ourselves truly as who we are in Christ, repentance should be easy. When we compare the treasure of our righteousness in Him to the garbage of our sinfulness why would we continue to indulge ourselves? Giving up sin should be easy. The value difference between the pleasures of the flesh and the joy of salvation directs us toward repentance.

Soundtrack: Jesus Messiah, Chris Tomlin

wanting a king

1 Samuel 8:6 But when they said, "Give us a king to lead us," this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the LORD. 7 And the LORD told him: "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. 8 As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. 9 Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do."

We have been discussing in my Old Testament class how this idea of kingship developed for Israel, and the paradox that is found in it. By wanting a king Israel rejects God. They must beseech the very Lord that wants to reign over them as a righteous and good King for the right to have a king. How often do we repeat this grievance? How often do we beg the Lord to give us something that we think will better help us manage our lives, give us order, but in truth he simply wants control over that very thing. If we would simply turn to him we wouldn't need most of the things we beg of him. He makes use of every morsel of ourselves that we give him, and he will participate in the framework in which we allow him present in our lives.

Doesn't the church do this too? How often are we distracted by programs, order, liturgy, committees, and method when the Spirit simply wants to move? Come, great God. Be our King. Do not allow us to reject you. We repent of the way we elevate our plans over your Lordship!

Soundtrack: You are my King, Brian Doerkeson; Wonderful King, David Crowder; King Without a Crown, Matisyahu; and O Worship the King, Chris Tomlin

broken body

A couple of days ago in chapel we took communion. Actually, we take communion a lot around here. I love it, particularly because I still feel a disconnect with the mystery. It may be because I grew up in the church, and it was a part of my regular life. I think I take it for granted, kind of like how I take for granted that I have an affectionate family. I don't ponder how truly awesome it is that I know that I am loved because it is all I've ever known. But, for many, this is a sad reality. Many people my age did not have that assurance and would kill for it. I have never had a supernatural mountain top moment during communion, and somehow that makes the celebration thereof intriguing to me. I paid attention to the songs we sang, and they tended to emphasize the blood poured out. And I began to ponder even further.

When we focus too much attention on the atoning work of the blood we miss the identification with Christ available to us in his brokenness. How can we look at our sin until we have made peace with our suffering? How did we get so preoccupied with the blood? It is significant, yes! The shaming and suffering of Jesus is discussed at length, and yet we rush ahead to the cross, to the blood. We are so uncomfortable with the guilt implication of our sin that we miss how he is also capable of understanding our suffering, our shame. How should we understand his understanding of betrayal and abandonment? How do we process the idea that he didn't just experience suffering like ours, but somehow on the cross he suffered our grief and our suffering?

This points to a bigger issue that I have been pondering a lot lately. Why does the church spend so much time focusing on salvation from hell when salvation from sin is just as significant. People hunger for the power of a joyful life today. They hunger for freedom. They hunger for a kingdom life lived here on earth. But we, church, do not offer that. We fail to preach sanctification.

Soundtrack: Sweetly Broken, Jeremy Riddle

iPod, iListen, iBlock Out

Tonight I headed across campus to return a book to the library. I climbed down 2 or 3 steps in the dorm, and I realized that I had forgotten to grab my iPod. Typically I either listen to music when I'm walking around campus or I hang out with someone. I usually listen to music that reflects what I am feeling in the moment or music that reflects what I should be feeling in a moment. Sometimes I will replay songs from chapel. Sometimes I play songs that just make me happy. This piece of technology brings great joy in my life. It gives me access to thousands of songs instantly. With it, I can listen to the sermons of favorite preachers. I learn about screenwriting from podcasts, and I carry around pictures of my dear family. I can watch movies, TV shows, and SNL skits. The opportunities are endless.

Mom always talks about what she will say when her grandchildren come to her and ask her what the most significant invention in her life was. She plans to say the cell phone. I (at this stage in my life) would have to say the MP3 player (but... specifically the iPod). This piece of technology changed my life. It changed the lives of an entire generation. I am ever grateful.

It reminded me of the sermon that Rob Bell preached when we visited Mars Hill. He talked about how technology separates us from God. He suggested that one of the first pieces of technology, the brick, led to a great divide between mankind and God. The brick led to the tower of Babel. Even though I use my iPod in worship daily, could it be a hindrance to my connectedness to the Lord? Rob talked about how by being able to buy a red tomato in Grand Rapids in January, we are separated from the provision of the Creator. Am I missing something by not hearing these songs live? Am I missing the noise of creation? Am I falsifying the soundtrack of my life? Am I infusing a moment with something that shouldn't be there? Are there other pieces of technology in our lives that somehow hinder our relationship with the Lord? Are you missing something organic and simple because you are loading up the backpack of your life with extra junk?

Soundtrack: From Where I'm Standing, Schuyler Fisk

John Adams

John Adams is one of my great friends here, and he is brilliant. I am not the kind of writer that feels like I am in competition with other writers. He keeps a blog that is profound and worthy of your time. I rejoice that God is raising up a generation of people willing to spend time at a computer writing down the things they believe God wants to say to His people. Without a record of where we are now, how will future generations know where they are going?

He has also been lobbying to be the subject of one of my blogs. So, here you go, John. You earned it.


http://tinroofchorus.wordpress.com/

If you like my blog, you'll love his.

Soundtrack: Feel Like Home to Me, Chantal Kreviazuk

Springtime green of new life

I was walking across campus today and I noticed one of the flower beds. We have these circle flower beds that have been brown and dead the entire time I have been here. And today, it was green, teaming with new life. I heard my spirit sing the phrase, "Springtime green of new life" from the Enter the Worship Circle song, Land of the Living. I took note, Creation testifies to resurrection. Every year we see death and new life. Every year we are given opportunity to respond to the cross and resurrection through the simplicity of new life. How fitting that Easter is in Spring. Pause and recognize the mystery of the resurrection in the new green life budding all around you.

Soundtrack: Land of the Living, Enter the Worship Circle

*Note, I think this song has been on the Soundtrack before, but it is worth listening to again.

How Deep the Father's Love

Today in class Dr. Seamands had us stand and worship singing this song. Every time he has us do that I smile. I am continuously reminded what a blessing it is to learn about Jesus from people who love Jesus. I'll never forget the first time I printed out the instructions to my Church History Module and the professor closed with a prayer for us. I was moved to tears in that moment. At that point I had never had a learning experience that was integrated into my faith. I value my intellect, and I always grieved that I had to compartmentalize my faith in my academic studies. Sometimes, I had to fight just to be who I am. I grew immensely at UGA spiritually, but that was never encouraged in the classroom. It happened in the classroom, but it was never encouraged. I was reminded what a blessing it is to rejoice in the goodness of God's love with my professor. These are not dead facts that I am learning. This is the Truth.


How Deep The Father's Love For Us lyrics

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT)

Soundtrack: How Deep the Father's Love, Phillips Craig & Dean

musical theology

I think that the average church congregant could call themselves solid theologians if they simply paid attention to the language present in the hymns that we sing on Sunday mornings. For instance:

I serve a risen Savior, he's in the world today; I know that he is living, whatever foes may say. I see his hand of mercy, I hear his voice of cheer, and just the time I need him, he's always near.

He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talks with me along life's narrow way. he lives, He lives, Salvation to impart! You ask me how I know he lives? He lives within my heart.

Indeed Christ lives... Salvation to impart.

Soundtrack , He Lives!

lean back

I went to Wesley tonight. (The Wesley Foundation at UGA)

Like staking a tent in the ground to give us cover, to protect us, I find myself going to the places that feel like home to ground me. They make me feel safe. They remind me who I am. At the core, isn't that all faith is? To remember? God calls the Israelites to remember the exodus, the covenant, the promise. We as Christians we remember the cross. We remember not recreate unauthentic experiences but to feel again. We remember to experience again. I return to the places where I worshiped: places where I was the one who God created me to be in the most profound ways. Wesley was one of those places in my life.

Wesley is a place for me where the worship felt like warm fuzzies and butterflies from a new relationship. I learned so much about my faith. It is where I learned what worship really was. It was where I was first led in worship. It was the place that I first felt free in worship. These are all the fun characteristics found in a growing new relationship of substance. Even though I had been a Christian for years, I began to have a real deep and lasting relationship with the Lord at Wesley.

Last night I had a different experience. It didn't feel like butterflies and giddiness. Instead I had a different feeling. Worship felt like the safety of longstanding relationship. It felt like I was leaning back, doubled over in laughter over a reminiscent story. Safe and secure and satisfied. There was history between us that no one in the room knew, but was still present. The backdrop had changed almost completely. We were in a new facility, with a new band, (all of whom were in elementary school when I started at Wesley), new chairs, and new songs. I didn't know anyone in the crowd. I know only a handful of staff, and yet it was the same. The same Spirit I had come to know there 10+ years ago still reigned. The organic nature of Spirit led worship still permeated every aspect of the service.

I was only distracted by one thing. The carpet in the Tate Center is textured and the carpet at the Wesley Chapel was not. My feet couldn't get on board with what the rest of my body was enjoying. It was a sensory memory quirk that made me smile. Praise God for the growth in numbers of those participating at Wesley while the integrity of the ministry has been maintained.

May you take note of the moments in your life when God is so near that it feels like leaning back in familiar laughter.

Soundtrack: Closer, Charlie Hall

tumbleweed

I haven't written anything for a couple of days, and I am glad to say that feels wrong. I am glad to say I have gotten used to the habit of writing on a regular basis. I don't have a real good reason why I haven't spent time with my computer, but I do have at least a dozen or so thin reasons. Let's just call them excuses. I am sick, and it is difficult to be productive when I don't feel well. I realize how spoiled and lazy I am when my routine is thrown off in the slightest. I have other things on my mind, and my heart is heavy from accidentally offending some close friends. Miscommunication, particularly here in the blogeshpere, can throw a major wrench into life. It seems despite my hyper-communicative behaviors, I am still susceptible to significant miscommunication. I want to be spending time with my family. I want to play with my nieces. I wasted, in the best way, hours talking with my brother earlier in the break. And, to be honest, I feel entitled to a vacation. I feel entitled to slide by. I need to get lost in worship at Wesley. School work looms. It's one thing on top of another. There's not enough time. There's never enough time. How revealing of our character change is in our life, even when it is temporary! I was shocked at how little the major changes in my life affected me. Yet, here I am. I have learned to love my little Wilmore routine. I didn't realize how helpful it had been for me to put my life in Conyers behind me until it was in my face again. The truth is, I don't have it all figured out. I am poor and needy. I am weak and in need of a savior. I need the rock of Christ in my life or else I will tumble in the tide of this world. Christ have mercy on me, a sinner in need of grace. I am glad that I recognize I need the Lord in my life. No matter how neat I think my world is, it is still a wreck without Jesus.

Soundtrack: Amazing Grace (My chains are gone), Chris Tomlin

The Word

Sometimes the Lord says it for you. Sometimes Scripture speaks volumes. When you are hungry for something to which to cling, He sends a word. Today:

Deuteronomy 8:2-3a
Remember the long way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, in order to humble you, testing you to know what was in your heat, whether or not you would keep his commandments. He humbled you by letting you hunger, then by feeding you with manna...

Psalm 86:1-5
Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you. Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

There are days and situations that feel like it is all just too much to manage. I am extended beyond my own ability to manage all that is on my plate in this moment, and I am hungry for reprieve. I am weary. I am in need of manna. I call on the Lord, believing there is relief in Him.

Soundtrack: Speak to Me, Rebbecca St. James

worship

There's nothing more to say.

Soundtrack: The Wonderful Cross

Portion

We celebrate the Eucharist every Wednesday during chapel. I enjoy Wednesday chapels. Communion is a different experience when the worshipping body is full of people preparing for ministry. Intentionality rests in the open spaces. The mystery rests heavily on the congregation. I watch people during Communion, and this is not a new practice. I have always watched as people leave the kneeling rail. I think the facial expressions we hold after taking in the body and blood of Christ tells a lot about where we are in our spiritual life. As a child I remember observing how many people were picking the wafer out of their teeth while walking down the aisle. So, I watch. We face the table, and J. D. lifts high the bread and wine. Many of the students have the order of worship memorized, so there is this great sense that the congregation genuinely understands what is happening. I often grieve that the church is passive about this sacrament. OK, I often grieve that the Protestant Church is passive about sacrament in general. But, here, I sense a unity in understanding of the greatness of Communion. We use the intinction method, and each server holds both bread and wine. This means that the individual takes the bread off the loaf and dips it into the juice while the server stands there holding the elements. I was watching today as people took their portion. I remember serving Communion as a youth minister, and the portion that kids break off varies significantly. Adults typically take modest pieces. Here, the portion that people take is almost always significantly larger than what adults usually break off. I can hear the hearts of my peers say as they break the bread off, "I want more of You, Jesus. I want as much of You as I can take." Over and over again, the students step forward and break off a generous portion. It's beautiful. We remember our brokenness in the brokenness of Jesus. We accept the healing and wholeness that the cross offers. Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.

Soundtrack: How Beautiful, Twila Paris

Prayers and Meditations, St. Anselm

Almighty God, merciful Father, and my good Lord... give me heart-piercing goodness and humility; discerning abstinence and mortification of the flesh. Help me to love you and pray to you, praise you and meditate upon you. May I act and think in all things according to your will, purely, soberly, devoutly, and with a true and effective mind. Let me know your commandments, and love them, carry them out readily, and bring them into effect. Always, lord, let me go on with humility to better things and never grow slack.

Prayers and Meditations, St. Anselm

We have a reader that is a part of the "Common Text Project." The concept is that those participating in the Asbury community would regularly be spending time meditating on the same scripture and other devotional material. I really enjoy interacting with the reader. I think the team that puts it together really impacts the spiritual direction of the campus.

This prayer was a part of the reading for today. I don't think I've ever read it before, and it struck me with an attitude of significant abandonment. St. Anselm is casting off all that distracts from Christ, and clinging to that which draws him into that relationship. I love the fullness of St. Anselm's devotion to the Lord. Clearly, this is a prayer of someone interested in a comprehensively integrated life of faith. He considers prayer an opportunity for reverence. Sometimes the pendulum swings in different perspectives. Our current generation has a familiarity with God in prayer that is beautiful and adds to the Kingdom of God. However, I can't help but wonder if we have lost the reverence in which prayer has been experienced in years past.

Soundtrack: In the Secret

Donald Miller

Donald Miller spoke at a major church near by this weekend. I went to hear him Sunday morning and then went back Sunday night for a Q & A. Donald Miller wrote a book that influenced my life, and I would love to be his friend. His literary voice is similar to mine. It was an honor to hear him speak in person.

During his talk he said, "God is perfectly satisfied with Adam experiencing the conflict of needing a helpmate." Something was off, man was in need. The world was good, not perfect. All of this occurred before the fall. God is OK with us struggling. God is fine with us experiencing tension. God sees value in our dissatisfaction. He is OK with the uncomfortable. There is something of strength and grace in that moment that makes it teachable. He doesn't leave us there, but He lets us soak up the truth, the uniqueness of that moment.

I am reminded of cabin time with my Young Life girls. After asking the difficult question I would often just sit in the quiet, in the tension. I believe that the Lord can minister more in the silence than I can in a thousand words. When God brings us to that moment that feels painfully uncomfortable and we want to rush ahead to the pay off; let us revel in the awkward, the quiet, the unspoken, even if it is for a very short time. Let us appreciate what is particularly great about the anticipation.

The good news is that God didn't leave Adam alone. He didn't leave him in the quiet darkness. He provided exactly what Adam needed, all in due time. God seems to enjoy this teaching tool. It's what we find in the time frame between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The quiet of that weekend makes the Sunday rejoice, "Up from the Grave He Arose!" all the more exuberant!

Soundtrack: Somewhere Past the Quiet, Bebo Norman

airports functioning in spiritual formation

I am currently stuck at the Lexington Airport. As far as airports go, this one falls short. Airports are great places to hang out when they are as big as Atlanta, Chicago, or any other major city. There is 1 bar and 1 souvenir shop and not much else. It does have free Wi-Fi, so I am thankful for the opportunity to blog.

This week 3 of my 4 nieces have had birthdays, and they have a planned birthday party for tomorrow. I intended to go home and celebrate with them. It is apparently spring break, and flights are full to the brim. Additionally, it is raining in Atlanta, which means that flights EVERYWHERE are delayed. To add an extra complication to the mix the second flight I should have been on now had a mechanical malfunction causing it to cancel. All of that means that it is unrealistic to think I am getting out of Lexington today, and unlikely that I am going home this weekend.

I have had some hours to observe those around me. It is amazing how we reveal our character when we are put in frustrating situations. Americans are simply addicted to entitlement. We are addicted to "me." Some people are managing, and some are having a significant increase in blood pressure. There is a man sitting in front of me that is redder than a tomato, and I am a little scared for his health. Is there anything that deserves that kind of response? All of the changes today in planes and flight plans are safety related. Ultimately, air travel is risky, and I am grateful for the wisdom of air traffic control. I only want to be on a plane if the circumstances are right. I am hearing my heart rejoice for the great opportunity I was given as a child to be in this very situation over and over again. We have flown stand-by my whole life. It taught me to be grateful for the blessings I am given because they aren't guaranteed. It taught me to put people (customers) first. It taught me to be patient. It taught me to be spontaneous, which I am sure makes it easier for me to be sensitive to the Spirit. Being in the midst of difficult situations can change your integrity. The more you find your identity and joy in the eternal, the easier it is to find peace in changing circumstances.

Incidentally, the gate agent working right now is amazing. She is firm and kind. She is helpful and resolute. She is managing the situation like a pro.

It is unfortunate that I will probably not get to celebrate with my nieces this weekend, but it is not the end of the world. I have loved on them enough that I can trust our relationship is firm. I wish I could hug them, but my world doesn't end if I can't.

May you find yourself in circumstances that cause you to remember that this world is temporal.

Soundtrack: Waiting on the World to Change, John Mayer

dancing, freedom and theology

"To learn to dance one must take that first step, even if awkwardly. Good theology is more than a tome or a string of good sentences. It is a way of dancing an embodied activity of the human spirit in a community embodying life in Christ. Learning to live in God's presence is something like learning to dance; it is not best learned merely by reading books" (Oden, p. 193).
Dancing has been on my mind since the sock hop on Friday. (Yes, we had a sock hop.) I like this illustration. I am taken back to the days as a middle school girl learning cheerleading dances. I remember that it took time and effort to get the "steps" right, but after I knew the routine correctly, I experienced a freedom and a joy like I had never known. One drumchant stays with me to this day. I will remember this dance until the day I die. Learning it and teaching it for four years in high school made it a permenant part of my life. There is something so free about knowing the method enough to let go of it. I do not naturally have the best rhythm, but I have spent enough time dancing in my life that I know that feeling of freedom. It is easier for me to feel the music because I have invested time and spent energy in dance. I know how to feel the music and let go. It didn't come easy, but it was worth it. I imagine the impulse is similar for a musician. Learning where the particulars of form makes the learning of an instrument worth the while.
Similarly, it is thrilling to then be the teacher. Anytime I have ever taught someone a dance I have found it to be an utterly enjoyable experience. The moment that they stop thinking steps or moves and start feeling the music I share in their freedom. It's like opening the cage for a bird. What joy it is to participate in someone else's experience of liberation!
That is my prayer. I want to know theology; I want to know God. I want to have practiced and studied the ways to worship God well enough that in all circumstances I can let go and just be uninhibited in it. Knowing God is kind of like being a well rounded dancer. Let's be honest, knowing how to do middle school cheer leading dances does not make me a comprehensive dancer, but a professional dancer would have studied all types of dance. May I seek to learn comprehensive ways of knowing our God. I pray that the more I learn the method the freer I will become to just feel the movement.
Soundtrack: Knowing You, Passion and Freedom, Darrell Evans, and Wild Thing, Tone-Loc (note: this is the song of the drum chant)