Soundtrack/Backpack

All of the blog posts have a "soundtrack" listed. I firmly believe we feel things more deeply when we associate a thought or experience to a song. I pray the Spirit will use my words and these songs to draw you in deeper into the love and grace of the Triune God!

Some posts have a "backpack" item. Simply, these are books that I would suggest for further reading on a given topic.

11/18/2008

The beginning of something decidedly progressive.

I find myself wondering why I never ventured into the blogesphere. I am reminded of those few years between accepting God's calling to be a writer and my freshman year of college when I began journaling. It is so obvious, but as is true with most things in my life, it must be right for me. I am diligent to wait for the authentic moment for all things and I hate feeling coerced into anything. So, here I am, writing a blog because no one told me to do it and the moment felt right in my life. Similar to my journey toward journaling I sense a season of growing pains. I don't plan on telling anyone about this blog for weeks... maybe months. I need some time to work out how this fits into my life and how my process fits into the forum. I have only ever written for myself in my journal or for a very specific purpose, either to be published or to turn into a professor. This in between stage of technically public private thoughts is new to me. I don't self edit in my journal. I flow. And, I pour over the items that I am turning in or submitting. I am excited about stretching myself to find a new medium, but a little apprehensive about how it will function. Even now, I am missing the thesaurus function I use so much for papers and I am experiencing the pausing to think as disruptive to my typical journaling rhythm.

So, for those of you that do not know the story of Jill Sims, the writer... here it is. I was 15 and sitting in my freshman English class. You know the one where you watch the old version of Romeo and Juliet. My teacher allowed us 10 minutes at the beginning of class everyday to free read. I was reading Max Lucado's No Wonder They Call Him the Savior and I finished a chapter. It struck me that in this quiet moment at Heritage High School I was moved by words that were probably written years prior to my freshman year and word that were written by a man that lives in Texas. How beautiful the Holy Spirit that is indeed one Spirit in all believers! The Spirit that inspired those words for Max spoke to my heart in that moment. I breathed a prayer, "I want to do that." In that moment, I saw myself sitting at a desk, an L-shaped desk, typing. Two children ran into the room saying, "Mommy, mommy!" As I daydreamed my ideal life, writing from home and raising children, the Spirit said to my heart, "You can do this." It has been a long journey marked with God's pursuit to free me of myself and my bizarre fear of success. A few years later as I began to allow the faith of this promise God gave to me to seep into my being, I read 2 Timothy 2:15. I knew that was the Word's explanation for my calling. The words "workman" and "truth" haunted me. I have watched many friends and acquaintances that were uneasy allowing me to become their friend because of their misunderstanding of my Jesus, struggle with understanding our mysterious faith in juxtaposition to our culture. They need someone versed in culture crafting, or working, the truth into the language they speak. Now, I know my calling is not unique to myself, but I am excited to be apart of what God is saying to this generation. The thing about this verse that really helped me understand what my vocation would be was the restraint. First, "Present yourself approved to God." I must be submitted to God, yielded to the Spirit's voice, allowing Him to speak through me. "As a workman." Creativity is still God's nature. He is always creative, always crafting. "Who does not need to be ashamed." Ultimately, if I have followed the instructions given at the beginning of the verse, I have no reason to be unashamed. What I am saying/writing is His and therefore good. As we know from Romans, we are not to be unashamed of the gospel. And, the more I study scripture and fall deeper and deeper in love with the Lord, I realize that all truth points toward the truth of the gospel, and therefore no reason for shame. "Handling accurately the word of truth." Again, I am reminded to be careful with the truth and nothing I write can be intentionally contrary to what is True with a big T.

When I was searching for the verse online, I pulled up the Message version. I like the way it is worded... I am including vs. 14-about 17

14-18Repeat these basic essentials over and over to God's people. Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith. It just wears everyone out. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won't be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they're not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul.

Last summer my parents invited me to plan a trip for the 3 of us. I chose Gran Rapids, MI. Many of you will recognize that Grand Rapids is the home of Mars Hill Bible Church. Rob Bell is the lead teacher at Mars Hill, and for years he has inspired me with his words. I wanted to see how the community he teaches lives and worships. The weeks leading up to the trip I spent a lot of time asking God to reveal the next chapter in my life. I wanted Him to say that I would be moving to Grand Rapids because the idea of living in a community that is so full of passion excited me. On the plane I was reading a book by this guy. I am choosing not to disclose either name. I got so irritated because some of what he was saying was true - with a little t, but I couldn't handle the way he said things. I became annoyed with the fact that he got to publish a book and I had not, yet. I turned the book over to see why. He was a professor in religion at a well known university. Immediately I knew. I recognized the path behind me as I turned that proverbial bend in the road leading towards teaching. It is not normal to read Bonhoeffer or Lewis or Tozer on your lunch break as a receptionist. It is not normal to take meticulous notes on Entertainment Weekly's movie previews. It is not normal to keep a job under utilizing your skills in order to continue leading Young Life for some exceptional high school students because each opportunity to give the talk charges you in a way that is electric. It is not normal behavior, but it does prepare one to teach and write about the relationship between theology and culture. That's the plan. I hope you will travel this journey with me. Pray for me. Pray with me. Share in what God is doing for our generation. I hope to not disappoint. But, I'm gonna let you in on a secret. I don't do this for you. I do it for Him, and hopefully He will ultimately do it through me. May I always be a workman of truth.

Soundtrack: Blessed Assurance and One Pure and Holy Passion, One Day Live and Take my Life, Chris Tomlin

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