I started seminary about a month ago. It has brought to light some of my old demons. I find myself doing everything I can to avoid studying. I have this sense of anxiety when it comes to my school work, but I know God is with me. I know I am following a sense of calling, but I daily struggle with questions of adequacy and authority and legitiamcy. Even when I am sucessful, I am overwhelmed by how good God is to me. I look at my assignments, and initially I feel a wave of difficulty. I toss in the surf, and somehow when I quiet myself to being present with the assignment, it happens effortlessly. I pray that I will learn to submit to God's peace with greater ease as I forge ahead. I hear myself complain about circumstances, and I am aware of the toxicity of it. I feel myself avoiding the work of it all, and I and hate it. I listen to the whispers in the dark instead of nesting my head against the heartbeat of my heavenly Father.

Trinity, Jennifer Knapp