pay attention boys

If a girl gives you seemingly random out of the blue unrelated information... It's an invitation.


I was at this store, and one of the guys that works there asked me if I was looking for something specific when I was standing enjoying browsing the books. I do that a lot. I will go and stand among the books I love and think about what I learned when I was reading them, or who inspired me to buy that book, or what lesson God taught me through that book. I told him that I just like to check on some of my favorite authors to see if they have written anything new. He asked who, and I told him Rob Bell, Lauren Winner, Brian McLauren etc. He knew who I was talking about, and even had some suggestions. The way he responded and stared at me, I knew he wanted to talk more. It was that look you give someone when you are shocked to find someone similar to you. We all think that we are unique, or at least a part of a super cool and exclusive club. Another woman walked up, and his job required that he help her instead of continuing to chat with me. I hung around for a few moments, but eventually went on with my shopping. A few weeks later I found myself in the same store and the same clerk appeared as I searched for a calendar for work. I found myself giving him a lot of details about where I work and when I work because part of me wanted him to have a chance to seek me out. That was months ago now, and even though I still go to that store, and he still pops up everytime I walk in the store, I am over it. I wasn't that in to him in the first place, but his inability to accept the invitation laid out made him terribly unattractive. Why is it that men think women are complicted? We really aren't. We want you to be bold and pay attention to what we are saying. We give you hints and invitations all the time. You just aren't paying attention.

Soundtrack: Better, Matthew Mayfied

Student of Love

Lord,
As I learn more about love, forgive me for all the moments in which you have showered me with love and grace and I was blind to see.

Soundtrack: Your Love is Extravagent, Darrell Evans and His Grace is Sufficent, Jennifer Knapp

Puzzle

I often wonder why there are people in our lives that we see every day for months or years at a time who can be lifted out of our lives with little to no consequence. I had dozens of teachers in my life that I saw daily for 9 months, and I no longer remember their names. There are people I have worked beside for years, with whom I have no lasting bond. We are shoulder to shoulder with these people, and our lives rub up against each other, yet somehow our lives do not connect. They are inconsequential to our story, to our purpose.

Then there are those people that are, often times, instantly profoundly significant; like we are a puzzle piece and they fit us perfectly. Part of them is meant to relate or connect to part of us. The relationship is effortless. The acceptance and mutual understanding is immediate.

When I watch a movie I often mentally reinterpret the characters and situations on the screen into my own life in order to appreciate the universal truth being told in the story. These are the faces I see when I watch a romantic comedy, a tragic drama or maybe an action adventure! This is why we cry at movies or commercials. It's why every song we hear is about them. It is not an uncanny ability to empathize with those flat characters. It is our ability to feel again the feeling we had when we were the girl standing in front of the boy who clearly wants more but is too scared to get hurt again.

One of my best friends called and left a message on my phone this week. She is expecting, and I am thrilled. We are matching puzzle pieces, and therefore, her child is overwhelmingly powerful to me. I see babies every day, but I can’t wait to meet hers.

How do we know who those people are? Why are they important to us? Why do the moments meeting them, or the shared experience that defines us run through our minds over and over again? Is there such a thing as emotional memory? Why do I see their faces when I am watching a plot that should not remind me of them? Why don’t I ever think about the girl that sat next to me in second grade, but Dirty Dancing always reminds me of my childhood best friend? I spent more hours next to the nameless girl, but when our puzzle pieces were side by side, we were never a match. Some people do complete us, or at least fit us. As I reflect on my life and mentally divide people into significant and insignificant, I recognize that they were a part of a major storm or joyful celebration in my life. They participated in God speaking the truth of myself to me.

To those of you that I consider part of my puzzle. I am grateful that you fit with me.

Soundtrack: Walk on the Ocean, Toad the Wet Sprocket