Jill Time

I have hit the wall, the people wall. I have worn a hat 2 days in a row, and that is a good sign that I want to be alone. I have really enjoyed being in seminary and meeting the plethora of new and genuinely interesting people. Simply put, Asbury is a hyper-community. We eat together, we share bedrooms, we share bathrooms, we share playtime, we share studies, we share our lives. And I LOVE being in community. I think that we get to know the breadth of the love of Christ by watching Him loves others, watching others love Him, and watching Him in the way we love each other. I have learned a lot about my new friends and a lot about our country subsequently. However, I am spent. I learned a long time ago that for me to be the extrovert "people-person" that wants to draw people in, I have to have plenty of alone time. While I have been intentional about finding little snippets of time here and there, I have not had enough. When I worked for Dr. Kuhn, I would come home and curl up in my room for a couple of hours a night. When I was at Glenn's 6 nights a week, I would study alone during the afternoons. But, here, I don't have a great place for sanctuary. I have a great place for time with the Lord, which is most important, but finding space to just be has been difficult. My coffee shops have often been my safe space, and that is where I am now. But, Main and Maple is a hot bed for social interaction. In fact, there are 3 other students here now. Luckily, students are pretty good about leaving each other alone here. It is precisely this alone time that has shaped me into the confident lady that I am. Without time to be and to be satisfied with who I am apart from relationships I would not be capable of investing abandonly in the people that I love. Rob Bell talks about how amped up he is after a Sunday of preaching. He says that it takes him a couple of days to come down from the adrenaline high it gives him. He crashes on Wednesdays. Recognizing that rhythm in his life has afforded him the opportunity to seek God's control over the highs and the lows. Similarly, I have learned to recognize when I need to unplug from community and be reminded who I am. I like me. I like hanging out with Jill. So, I'm gonna take some time and do just that.

Soundtrack: Independant Women, Destiny's Child