Soundtrack/Backpack

All of the blog posts have a "soundtrack" listed. I firmly believe we feel things more deeply when we associate a thought or experience to a song. I pray the Spirit will use my words and these songs to draw you in deeper into the love and grace of the Triune God!

Some posts have a "backpack" item. Simply, these are books that I would suggest for further reading on a given topic.

12/01/2012

Forrest Gump Faith


Dedicated to Wompi J, and Do-Dah; the lovely ladies who used to call me Bean.  

Forrest Gump released the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school.  I consider it to be one of the most culturally influential movies of the last 30 years and personally influential movies of my life.   In high school some friends and I even took to calling ourselves the "Gumpisms."  When we hung out we usually watched Forest Gump, drank Mello Yellow, and I remember there being a lot of pixie sticks.  At this vantage point I mostly remember the laughter and the great friendships we formed.  Needless to say between this peculiar relationship and the TBSing of movies, I have watched Forest Gump dozens of times.  I believe that good culture both reflects and challenges society; sadly very few movies ever reach this high bar.  Forest Gump achieved this and so much more.  I could probably write a whole book using truth in Forest Gump to espouse theological truth.  However, today I am considering the theology of Forest Gump the character and his understanding of what happened to Jenny as a little girl.  

The significant relationship between Jenny and Forest dominates the plot, and Jenny's abusive relationship with her father informs her understanding of men, life, trust, self and even her value system.  Eric Roth and Robert Zemeckis manage to explore this dynamic without exposing the audience to the abuse itself.  Three of the more emotional moments are foundational to this exploration.  Early in the movie we see Jenny and Forest run into the field as her father drunkenly hunts her down.  Jenny's prayer is haunting and profound, "Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far far away from here."  

One afternoon after Jenny comes home she and Forrest go for a walk.  When they happen upon her childhood home and she is confronted with hell on earth, her personal demons appear across her face in a mixture of disgust, anger, and bit of a protective instinct for her inner child as she stands looking at the setting of her childhood horrors.  She begins to throw her shoes and then rocks at the house because that is all she can do.  Forrest appears seemingly helpless, but complicit in allowing her to feel her feelings.  When she falls down in the complexity her pain, he simply says, “Sometimes I guess there just aren’t enough rocks.”    

Toward the end of the movie movie Forrest stands at Jenny's grave and narrates the events following her death.  He tells her that he had her father's house bulldozed to the ground, and the audience sees him standing there watching as it crumbles, as fragile as Jenny must have felt on the inside.  We understand what Forest must have pondered.  I could argue that this brief moment is one of the most emotionally complicated moments ever portrayed on film.  

Forrest takes action for the one he loves. As a person with special needs, we can assume that he doesn't fully comprehend why or how Jenny's father hurt her.  He knows that he loved this woman; he knows she experienced deep pain; and he needs to do something tangible to protest the abuse.  She deserves to be avenged.  He is literally moved to act out of emotion with only a simplistic understanding of the circumstances.   Isn’t that what it means to be faithful?  Knowing there is more happening than we understand, being compelled by the emotion present in the situation, and finding ourselves moved to action out of an intense need to participate in making outcome right?  

I often wonder whether simple faith is legitimate faith.   I have a difficult time taking things at face value, and that makes me hesitant to believe that some people are capable of doing so.   But instead of debating who deserves what kind of health care, or what requirements a person must meet to obtain food stamps and the steps they should take in order to leave assistance, shouldn’t we do something for the hungry, for the sick, the mourning, the tired, the weary, the scared, the lonely...the lost?  How often are we distracted away from kingdom work in which God calls us by debating the circumstances around the situation.  What if we simply acted more out of love and compassion?  What would our world look like?  

I confess this question about simple faith originates in the place that houses my arrogantly analytical faith.  I want to think that I am better than they are.  But I am compelled to recognize (because I’m wasting all this time contemplating it) that there is room for both.  Both are indeed legitimate, and neither is necessarily better than the other.  I think the Church needs both to be healthy.  Even with the knowledge and insight I have been lucky enough to receive, sometimes it feels like I’m just holding a handful of dirt and thinking I understand what it means to be a mountain.

I know I will always fall on the side of Paul at Mars Hill: interested to make sense of God Almighty in both the intellectual landscape and cultural context in which I live.  And I will always be like Jacob needing to engage Truth in a wrestling match.   But what if I didn’t need to try to understand every facet of theology for myself?  

Forrest does the very thing Jenny needed out of his naive understanding.  It was sacred; fraught with meaning, meaning that was lost on the one doing it.   Dare I say it was sacramental?  Did he do something more valuable out of his ignorant but earnest understanding?  What weight should we give emotion in our faith?  When do we give reason too much authority?  I can’t help but wonder, if given the opportunity, was Jenny strong enough to have pushed the house over?  Do we complicate and thus prevent ourselves from doing the most righteous things by paying too much attention to the details?   Don't you already know God's heart for the world?  If you don't, it's simple.  He grieves for our brokenness.  He is constantly crying out for reconciliation and Kingdom Come in all situations.  How can you participate in that?   

I’m not saying we need to check our minds at the door.  I could never say that. 

But, no matter how brilliant you are; may you never forget that you’re just holding a clump of dirt.  

Soundtrack:  Famous One, Chris Tomlin; Against the Wind, Bob Seager and the Silver City Bullet

8/16/2012

I'm 5

If you ever spend time with children you know that birthdays are kind of a big deal.  And if you've ever been around a younger sibling you'll know that each marker of coming of age, no matter how slight, can dominate that child's life and anticipation for months.  A while ago my niece was turning five.  And she had been talking about it for months.  I happened to spend a good bit of time with her over the course of the celebration.  When I went to my brother's house for the celebration I noticed that as all of her grandparents, parents, sisters and I greeted her we would exclaim, "Happy Birthday!"  Some would ask if she feels older or if she's excited.  And there was this strange slight unwillingness to accept that she was five.  For all the build-up, she appeared disengaged from the exclamations of those around her. We ate dinner, and then the flaming cake walked toward her.   After we finished singing she paused, blew out the candles, and looked up at me saying, "I'm five!"  You see, for her, she didn't turn five until the ritual was complete.  It didn't matter that the day had come marking the anniversary of her birth.   She didn't care that she had eclipsed even the exact time of day that she entered the world.  No, for her, blowing out the candles marked the passage from four to five.  There is something we need in the ritual.  We crave it even as children.

Did you notice during the Olympics how the athletes remain focused and composed during the competition, and they have a sense of celebration when their names are posted as a gold medalist.   However, the tears, the indication that the depth and breadth of what is happening in their life has moved into their emotional identity, they come on the winner's stand.  A medal is placed around their necks, they are handed flowers.  Flags raise high.  The familiar tune of their national anthem begins, and something changes.  


It makes me think about discussions I've had with people about the Sacraments and rituals.  Does one truly have salvation prior to or without Baptism?  Am I reconciled with Christ if I never commune?  Do I know what I believe if I never declare a Creed?  Does the Holy Spirit fail to enter a sanctuary if we don't light any candles?  

I think that any movement toward removing all ritual from our Christian faith is simply dangerous.  The abstractions may still occur, but we miss something when we ignore the ritual.  Ritual without meaning can be death, but ritual steeped in symbolic actualization and spiritual substance gives us more than we realize.  

Soundtrack:  Happy Birthday; Phos Hilaron, Passion

7/29/2012

Expatriate.



When Kirk and Nicole lived in Accra their neighborhood included many expatriates from around the globe.  As we drove around the city I noticed the diversity so I asked Kirk about his neighbors.   Of course, Kirk and I had a really good conversation about what it means to be a citizen of one country but to live in another, and then what happens when many cultures commingle in a country not their own.  Having always lived in the U.S., I had never really considered what that would do to your personal and cultural identity.  I remember spending some time thinking about how isolating and frustrating that must be... never fully feeling like you are a part of either culture fully.  Ultimately, I believe it makes a person richer and more complex to carry with them the best of several cultures, but I can also see how it might cause some internal conflict.  An American eating groundnut soup, wearing Kente cloth, or pounding fu-fu does not make them Ghanaian.  A Ghanaian eating  turkey on Thanksgiving, watching MTV, or visiting the Liberty Bell does not make them American.  However when Gifty cooks groundnut soup it reminded her who she is and what she is made of.  Similarly an American can feel the drive for liberty and what that means about who you are and your value system in a way that gets deeper than skin standing there in front of the Liberty Bell or the Declaration of Independence.  

Sitting in a Spiritual Formation class years later I had one of those rare but awesome "a-ha" moments.  In an unrelated, but oddly relevant topic, Dr. Voigts said, "Just because we are citizens of God, doesn’t mean we live there. Our passports should be 'Kingdom of God.'"  

Exactly.  

That explains so much.  I struggle with a lot of the rhetoric that is batted around church culture about this world and how much we should participate in it.  I hate it when people make declarative statements like movies are from the devil and the internet is just for porn.   Really?  Because the Holy Spirit has brought me to tears in a movie theater as He quietly reminded me of the breadth of the love God has for me.  And, I am presently openly sharing my faith on the internet.   

I have that internal conflict.  I am spiritually homeless.  And so are you!  There are things that happen around me that are countercultural to the Kingdom that confuse me, and I have encountered people who aren't yet believers that could not understand my need for prayer or worship or solitude.  

We can appreciate, even value the culture of our host land.  But we are expatriates and must remember to continually participate in the culture of our homeland.  We need to be reminded of who we are and what we are made of.  In the context of that Spiritual Formation class I began to perceive the Christian Disciplines as expressions of our culture.  Praying, fasting, reading the Bible, attending worship doesn't make you a Christian, but once you are, these are the things that connect you with your true nature.  The disciplines don’t make us faithful, they keep us faithful.

Do you live here on earth like your homeland is elsewhere?  Are you gracious to the culture in which you live?  

May you be reminded that your passport says Kingdom of God!  

Soundtrack: Hometown Glory, Adele; I'll Lead You Home, Michael W. Smith