Forrest Gump Faith

Dedicated to Wompi J, and Do-Dah; the lovely ladies who used to call me Bean.  

Forrest Gump released the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school.  I consider it to be one of the most culturally influential movies of the last 30 years and personally influential movies of my life.   In high school some friends and I even took to calling ourselves the "Gumpisms."  When we hung out we usually watched Forest Gump, drank Mello Yellow, and I remember there being a lot of pixie sticks.  At this vantage point I mostly remember the laughter and the great friendships we formed.  Needless to say between this peculiar relationship and the TBSing of movies, I have watched Forest Gump dozens of times.  I believe that good culture both reflects and challenges society; sadly very few movies ever reach this high bar.  Forest Gump achieved this and so much more.  I could probably write a whole book using truth in Forest Gump to espouse theological truth.  However, today I am considering the theology of Forest Gump the character and his understanding of what happened to Jenny as a little girl.  

The significant relationship between Jenny and Forest dominates the plot, and Jenny's abusive relationship with her father informs her understanding of men, life, trust, self and even her value system.  Eric Roth and Robert Zemeckis manage to explore this dynamic without exposing the audience to the abuse itself.  Three of the more emotional moments are foundational to this exploration.  Early in the movie we see Jenny and Forest run into the field as her father drunkenly hunts her down.  Jenny's prayer is haunting and profound, "Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far, far far away from here."  

One afternoon after Jenny comes home she and Forrest go for a walk.  When they happen upon her childhood home and she is confronted with hell on earth, her personal demons appear across her face in a mixture of disgust, anger, and bit of a protective instinct for her inner child as she stands looking at the setting of her childhood horrors.  She begins to throw her shoes and then rocks at the house because that is all she can do.  Forrest appears seemingly helpless, but complicit in allowing her to feel her feelings.  When she falls down in the complexity her pain, he simply says, “Sometimes I guess there just aren’t enough rocks.”    

Toward the end of the movie movie Forrest stands at Jenny's grave and narrates the events following her death.  He tells her that he had her father's house bulldozed to the ground, and the audience sees him standing there watching as it crumbles, as fragile as Jenny must have felt on the inside.  We understand what Forest must have pondered.  I could argue that this brief moment is one of the most emotionally complicated moments ever portrayed on film.  

Forrest takes action for the one he loves. As a person with special needs, we can assume that he doesn't fully comprehend why or how Jenny's father hurt her.  He knows that he loved this woman; he knows she experienced deep pain; and he needs to do something tangible to protest the abuse.  She deserves to be avenged.  He is literally moved to act out of emotion with only a simplistic understanding of the circumstances.   Isn’t that what it means to be faithful?  Knowing there is more happening than we understand, being compelled by the emotion present in the situation, and finding ourselves moved to action out of an intense need to participate in making outcome right?  

I often wonder whether simple faith is legitimate faith.   I have a difficult time taking things at face value, and that makes me hesitant to believe that some people are capable of doing so.   But instead of debating who deserves what kind of health care, or what requirements a person must meet to obtain food stamps and the steps they should take in order to leave assistance, shouldn’t we do something for the hungry, for the sick, the mourning, the tired, the weary, the scared, the lonely...the lost?  How often are we distracted away from kingdom work in which God calls us by debating the circumstances around the situation.  What if we simply acted more out of love and compassion?  What would our world look like?  

I confess this question about simple faith originates in the place that houses my arrogantly analytical faith.  I want to think that I am better than they are.  But I am compelled to recognize (because I’m wasting all this time contemplating it) that there is room for both.  Both are indeed legitimate, and neither is necessarily better than the other.  I think the Church needs both to be healthy.  Even with the knowledge and insight I have been lucky enough to receive, sometimes it feels like I’m just holding a handful of dirt and thinking I understand what it means to be a mountain.

I know I will always fall on the side of Paul at Mars Hill: interested to make sense of God Almighty in both the intellectual landscape and cultural context in which I live.  And I will always be like Jacob needing to engage Truth in a wrestling match.   But what if I didn’t need to try to understand every facet of theology for myself?  

Forrest does the very thing Jenny needed out of his naive understanding.  It was sacred; fraught with meaning, meaning that was lost on the one doing it.   Dare I say it was sacramental?  Did he do something more valuable out of his ignorant but earnest understanding?  What weight should we give emotion in our faith?  When do we give reason too much authority?  I can’t help but wonder, if given the opportunity, was Jenny strong enough to have pushed the house over?  Do we complicate and thus prevent ourselves from doing the most righteous things by paying too much attention to the details?   Don't you already know God's heart for the world?  If you don't, it's simple.  He grieves for our brokenness.  He is constantly crying out for reconciliation and Kingdom Come in all situations.  How can you participate in that?   

I’m not saying we need to check our minds at the door.  I could never say that. 

But, no matter how brilliant you are; may you never forget that you’re just holding a clump of dirt.  

Soundtrack:  Famous One, Chris Tomlin; Against the Wind, Bob Seager and the Silver City Bullet

I'm 5

If you ever spend time with children you know that birthdays are kind of a big deal.  And if you've ever been around a younger sibling you'll know that each marker of coming of age, no matter how slight, can dominate that child's life and anticipation for months.  A while ago my niece was turning five.  And she had been talking about it for months.  I happened to spend a good bit of time with her over the course of the celebration.  When I went to my brother's house for the celebration I noticed that as all of her grandparents, parents, sisters and I greeted her we would exclaim, "Happy Birthday!"  Some would ask if she feels older or if she's excited.  And there was this strange slight unwillingness to accept that she was five.  For all the build-up, she appeared disengaged from the exclamations of those around her. We ate dinner, and then the flaming cake walked toward her.   After we finished singing she paused, blew out the candles, and looked up at me saying, "I'm five!"  You see, for her, she didn't turn five until the ritual was complete.  It didn't matter that the day had come marking the anniversary of her birth.   She didn't care that she had eclipsed even the exact time of day that she entered the world.  No, for her, blowing out the candles marked the passage from four to five.  There is something we need in the ritual.  We crave it even as children.

Did you notice during the Olympics how the athletes remain focused and composed during the competition, and they have a sense of celebration when their names are posted as a gold medalist.   However, the tears, the indication that the depth and breadth of what is happening in their life has moved into their emotional identity, they come on the winner's stand.  A medal is placed around their necks, they are handed flowers.  Flags raise high.  The familiar tune of their national anthem begins, and something changes.  

It makes me think about discussions I've had with people about the Sacraments and rituals.  Does one truly have salvation prior to or without Baptism?  Am I reconciled with Christ if I never commune?  Do I know what I believe if I never declare a Creed?  Does the Holy Spirit fail to enter a sanctuary if we don't light any candles?  

I think that any movement toward removing all ritual from our Christian faith is simply dangerous.  The abstractions may still occur, but we miss something when we ignore the ritual.  Ritual without meaning can be death, but ritual steeped in symbolic actualization and spiritual substance gives us more than we realize.  

Soundtrack:  Happy Birthday; Phos Hilaron, Passion

Expatriate.

When Kirk and Nicole lived in Accra their neighborhood included many expatriates from around the globe.  As we drove around the city I noticed the diversity so I asked Kirk about his neighbors.   Of course, Kirk and I had a really good conversation about what it means to be a citizen of one country but to live in another, and then what happens when many cultures commingle in a country not their own.  Having always lived in the U.S., I had never really considered what that would do to your personal and cultural identity.  I remember spending some time thinking about how isolating and frustrating that must be... never fully feeling like you are a part of either culture fully.  Ultimately, I believe it makes a person richer and more complex to carry with them the best of several cultures, but I can also see how it might cause some internal conflict.  An American eating groundnut soup, wearing Kente cloth, or pounding fu-fu does not make them Ghanaian.  A Ghanaian eating  turkey on Thanksgiving, watching MTV, or visiting the Liberty Bell does not make them American.  However when Gifty cooks groundnut soup it reminded her who she is and what she is made of.  Similarly an American can feel the drive for liberty and what that means about who you are and your value system in a way that gets deeper than skin standing there in front of the Liberty Bell or the Declaration of Independence.  

Sitting in a Spiritual Formation class years later I had one of those rare but awesome "a-ha" moments.  In an unrelated, but oddly relevant topic, Dr. Voigts said, "Just because we are citizens of God, doesn’t mean we live there. Our passports should be 'Kingdom of God.'"  

Exactly.  

That explains so much.  I struggle with a lot of the rhetoric that is batted around church culture about this world and how much we should participate in it.  I hate it when people make declarative statements like movies are from the devil and the internet is just for porn.   Really?  Because the Holy Spirit has brought me to tears in a movie theater as He quietly reminded me of the breadth of the love God has for me.  And, I am presently openly sharing my faith on the internet.   

I have that internal conflict.  I am spiritually homeless.  And so are you!  There are things that happen around me that are countercultural to the Kingdom that confuse me, and I have encountered people who aren't yet believers that could not understand my need for prayer or worship or solitude.  

We can appreciate, even value the culture of our host land.  But we are expatriates and must remember to continually participate in the culture of our homeland.  We need to be reminded of who we are and what we are made of.  In the context of that Spiritual Formation class I began to perceive the Christian Disciplines as expressions of our culture.  Praying, fasting, reading the Bible, attending worship doesn't make you a Christian, but once you are, these are the things that connect you with your true nature.  The disciplines don’t make us faithful, they keep us faithful.

Do you live here on earth like your homeland is elsewhere?  Are you gracious to the culture in which you live?  

May you be reminded that your passport says Kingdom of God!  

Soundtrack: Hometown Glory, Adele; I'll Lead You Home, Michael W. Smith

Justin Timberlake on Fire!

God created us to both love and crave love. We respond deeply to love. This truth is both the most powerful secret weapon and a paramount obstacle for Evangelical Christians. It is our secret weapon because we come proclaiming the greatest love of all.  Christ offers the very love that we were created to enjoy. It’s like we’ve got gold bars to just hand out. We point to perfect love. And we see literally everywhere desperate deficiency in the giving and ability to receive love. We know where to get the purest and most valued commodity on the earth.

However, it remains simultaneously our biggest obstacle because we live in a world where there are a thousand definitions of love – fame adoration, dysfunction, codependency, exploitation, and even judgment. Mankind’s ability to recognize true love has been tainted by what we call love. And, I don’t mean how we trivialize love. That distinction has been made over and over. We get that our love for family and tacos aren’t the same. I’m talking about how we think we are loving someone or that we have been loved by someone, but not all things called love are worthy of that title. When we say, “Hear the GOOD NEWS: GOD LOVES YOU,” they just can’t hear it. It’s like our gold bars look like red clay. The value appears diminished because we lost sight of what real love is. Consider Justin Timberlake’s experience at ComicCon this year.

___________________

While Justin walked around incognito as Ernie from Sesame Street-

Timberlake had been interrupted by a woman in the crowd who'd yelled "I love you!" to him. "I love you, too," he'd said back, and I'd suspected that only one of them had meant it. But now I can see it's very easy to give love when you're given love so easily... I can't believe they're playing one of my songs," he says, and he really does sound dumbstruck. He seems genuinely moved by the idea that people might enjoy what he does — maybe because all the love he receives is now from too great a distance for him to really feel it, like that moment when the woman yelled from the crowd and he was up on the stage. She, not he, was the one out of range. But today, this afternoon, thanks to his ridiculous costume, he's able to feel it again. He's able to stand in the middle of things once again, without fear, without needing Eric to stand between him and the love....

After Justin returned to the crowd as himself with the reporter in tow –

Then we step outside. It takes exactly three seconds — literally, three seconds — for the afternoon to disappear into night. Flashes start going off. People run in front of traffic, sprinting toward him. A crowd forms quickly, coming at us from all sides. A girl cries. And nobody's smiling. Nobody's happy. This isn't love. It's fame, pure and uncut.

Italics are my contextual notes. Excerpts are from Chris Jones' Esquire article. You can read the rest of the article here.

___________________

Once Justin entered the crowd as himself a significantly perverted form of something we often call love descended upon him. The reporter recognizes the destructive nature of it because he had something with which to compare the experience.

(Side bar - Before moving to the theological implications, I think it’s important to note the commentary here on our culture of celebrity. I freely confess I feed it, but I hope that I interact with it in a responsible manner. This moment is not genuinely valuable to either the celebrity or the fan. No wonder so many people have such screwed up personal lives in Hollywood. If you were constantly bombarded with such warped views of love, how would you ever recognize the real deal? Instead of judging their messed up lives, we proclaim even louder the hope and love of Christ!)

Every day we encounter warped circumstances or perceptions of love. How do we relearn how to recognize the free love of the Triune God? What are the ways that we distance ourselves from the love offered to us? Do we know what that love really looks like? Do we receive it? Do we offer it in the fullness that is available to us?

Real love is authentic, free, constant, sacrificial, desires reciprocity, fun, affirming, true, and surprising. This is the Love God has for you. This is the Love God offers you. Stop trying to mask it with the junk we call love. God's love for you is so much more.

Hear the word of God –

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

We love because he first loved us.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.

Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.

No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Follow the way of love and eagerly desire gifts of the Spirit, especially prophecy.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.

Anyone who does not love remains in death.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

___

Soundtrack, My Love, Justin Timberlake

Skype

My brother and his adorable family live in England. Prior to that, they lived in Ghana. Both locations create a significant commute, so, for the past 6 years our family found ways to interact to make up for the distance. We made videos and mailed them, we tried to visit when schedules and money allowed, we emailed, and we instant messaged. But, we ultimately found Skype to be the most effective. If you haven't found yourself in need of Skype, let me explain. The earth shattering moment when Alexander Graham Bell said “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you,” holds nothing to the innovation to real time interaction that Skype allows. We sit in Georgia, or Kentucky in my case, and have a face to face conversation with the rest of our family in Ghana or the UK. Thousands of miles away and over an ocean, but we are having a face to face conversation. I took a picture at Thanksgiving a couple of years ago, and felt compelled to tag Kirk in the picture when I posted it to Facebook because we were Skyping with him at the time. What is that impulse? He wasn't actually in the room. Why did I feel like he was there when he wasn't actually there? Because he was.

A theological term that gets batted around a lot in seminary is this idea of Eschatology. It's this fancy term for the study of the end of times. As Wesleyans we believe in an Already/Not Yet Eschatology. We believe that Jesus came to bring the Kingdom of God and it is presently entering this world, but will be fulfilled in the End. This implies a lot about how we should live and think about our time here on Earth now. It means that God is in the business of redeeming the world now. Jesus began with the incarnation, completed it on the cross, and left the Holy Spirit here to continue the implementation of that work when he ascended. He is here, healing. We can expect that the Jesus that saves us from our sin is doing so now. We can find freedom from ourselves here. We can begin the process to move on toward perfection. We are not alone. And, we don't have to wait to punch our fire-insurance card. There is hope for a new way of life now. When we pray "Kingdom, Come", we aren't praying for some event to happen years from now; we are acknowledging what we see happing right now! We join the Spirit already at work. Admittedly, this is a complicated theological term. And, unpacking it only makes it messier and more confusing.

A couple of nights ago, I rolled over and wrote on the note pad next to my bed these words: Skype - Already, Not Yet. That's it. Kirk was here with us at Thanksgiving, but he didn't taste the sweet potato casserole. We interact Kirk and his family in every way possible, aside from the physical. We can't hug him. So, he's not yet here, but he is. We have a relationship that sits in the tension of Already! Not Yet. He can know what I'm thinking and feeling, be moved by my feelings, and vice versa. We can share so much over the computer. I am grateful that I live in a time that being separated from my brother doesn't mean a pause in our relationship. So what does that look like?

I've played hide and go seek over Skype: Already!

But Kirk couldn't give me a high five when I got a new job: Not Yet.

Aidan once read us a verse that impacted him that day: Already!

But I couldn't turn the page for him: Not Yet.

In Ghana, Nicole showed us what she and Gifty were cooking for dinner: Already!

I couldn't smell it: Not Yet.

May you see the Kingdom of God as being here now while still waiting for what is yet to come!

Soundtrack: I'm not a girl, not yet a woman; Britney Spears

Hot Heels

I'm wearing high heels today. Let's be honest, I am a big fan of wearing heels, shopping for them, and talking about them. It holds a power that no other activity does. No matter how old I get I still get the feeling like I'm doing something really grown up. My nieces often play in Aunt Jill's heels, and Ava walks better in heels than most grown women. The higher the better, for both me and them.

Here's the thing, a simple choice like wearing heels changes how I walk. It's something I do every day, walking that is, but somehow it is totally transformed when I'm walking in heels. I strut a bit, and I have to walk slower so I don't fall over.

Today as I walked across campus, taking care not to step on a grate, I thought about how this relates to basic Christian disciplines. Making a choice, particularly one that affects the physicality of an activity, changes how we interact with it. When I choose to go to a prayer chapel to pray, I am affected. When I stand to worship, I am affected. When I kneel, when I walk forward for communion, when I hold someone's hand, when I cry in public I am choosing to interact with the Lord in a way that doesn't feel so rote. Choosing to elevate an activity invites the Holy Spirit to do something special. This doesn't stop the quick prayers throughout the day just like wearing heels won't stop me from rockin' some flip-flops. But, I need to be attentive to the choices I make and allow them to affect me.

Soundtrack: Red High Heels, Kellie Pickler

Jeffery Dahmer

You may know this already, but I was in middle school when it happened; Jeffery Dahmer was baptized. He wasn't just baptized; he professed saving faith in Jesus Christ.

"If you don't--if a person doesn't think that there is a God to be accountable to, then--then what's--what's the point of--of trying to modify your behavior to keep it within acceptable ranges? That's how I thought anyway. I always believed the theory of evolution as truth, that we all just came from the slime. When we--when we died, you know, that was it, there is nothing, and I've since come to believe that the Lord Jesus Christ is truly God, and I believe that I, as well as everyone else, will be accountable to him." - quoting Jeffery Dahmer, found on his Wikipedia page.

I was watching a National Geographic documentary about the science of evil today and they interviewed the pastor who baptized him. This is utterly fascinating to me. My mind wanders in a couple of directions. Could this be a litmus test of sorts as to the depth and sincerity of one's faith? Do you believe that God's grace is big enough for Jeffery Dhamer, mass murderer and cannibal? Can you look forward to an eternity standing beside this man? The pastor said that half of his congregation left his church when word came out. What would the church look like if a statement of faith included something along the lines of "I believe that God loves Jeffery Dhamer and the blood of Christ covers even his sins." Who would stay? Who would leave? Is the church teaching this kind of radical grace?

I imagine this thought conjures up a myriad of emotion. For me, I felt myself conflicted with praise of a good and gracious God and disdain for a reality that is disturbing and frustrating. I considered the victim's families. I pondered what happened in Heaven. Of course this opens the debate about law and accountability. But before we allow ourselves to build a wall made of logistics around the raw emotions, take time to stand in awe of the depth of God's grace.

Soundtrack: Amazing Grace

Sorrow and Love

It’s Lent. In fact, this is Passion Week. All around the world people are telling the stories of a man on a donkey, with his friends sharing a meal, betrayal, death and resurrection. This story that we enter into is rich and offers more than just the scene of Jesus nailed to a cross. I hope and pray that you worship in a community that practices the church calendar in a way that gives proper reverence and relevance to the seasons that have been observed by believers for thousands of years. This rhythm has shaped the dynamic of how the Church intentionally worships God in the width of the spectrum that is His character. I withhold saying the fullness of the spectrum because of our limitations in understanding, not His in sharing.

Lent is the season from Ash Wednesday to Easter. It’s the time of the year where we contemplate the road to the Cross- both the circumstances in Christ’s life and those in our own. Many fast or engage in other acts of penance during this season.

Seminary life affords a peculiar type of humor: nerdy theological humor that would make most Christians groan. One joke that is regularly punted around is that the perfect seminary answer is “both/and.” We spend our days exploring the mysterious paradox that is our God and the way He works. Is He loving or just? Yes. Both/And. Are we free or chosen? Yes. Both/And. Am I saved for the afterlife or the present life? Yes. Both/And. Am I healed and made whole in the afterlife or in the present life? Yes. Both/And. Is God one or three? Yes. Both/And. Was Jesus divine or human? Yes. Both/And. Our job is to joyfully proclaim the mystery of God, holding high both sides of truth. Today I was struck by one of these Both/And statements.

I am lucky enough to worship immersed in a community that is giving this season due attention. We have joined the saints before us in pausing to consider what the road to the Cross was/is like. Today in chapel we sang Tomlin’s version of The Wonderful Cross. Have you every considered these words...

See from his head, his hands, his feet

Sorrow and love flow mingled down

Did ever such love and sorrow meet

Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Have you sat with them? Have you allowed them to seep into your dark places? Yes! The Cross is a loving place. And Jesus bore that Cross because of love for you, for me, for humanity, for creation. He took on the pain, consequences, and separation from the Father that our sinfulness and brokenness created because of extravagant love.

BUT. He acted equally out of sorrow as He did out of love.

Yes. Both/And.

Whoa.

What does the sorrow of our Lord mean? What is He sorrowful for? He hates our sin. Yes. But, I think he hates what sin does to us just as much. He hates the pain that it causes. He hates the consequences. He hates the separation that it creates between the Father and us. He hates the brokenness. He hurts because of our pain. The cross was sorrowful because it wasn’t necessary. He grieves because he wants to protect us from the pain, but we chose it anyway. We choose it anyway. Sorrow and love are related. Have you ever watched a mother run to a child that has fallen down? Have you ever watched a husband beside the bed of his dying wife? Have you ever seen a child cry as they buried a pet? Sorrow and love are related. We are created in the image of God. Praise be our God!

This Easter, may you see the sorrow of the Cross as it mingles with the love of the Cross.

Sound Track: The Wonderful Cross, Chris Tomlin, *see below.

"The Wonderful Cross"

When I survey the wondrous cross

On which the Prince of Glory died

My richest gain I count but loss

And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet

Sorrow and love flow mingled down

Did ever such love and sorrow meet

Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross

Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross

All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine

That were an offering far too small

Love so amazing, so divine

Demands my soul, my life, my all

Snowblind

Friday night it snowed here in Kentucky. I love everything about snow. I'm sure that it is the little Georgia girl in me dying to get out. She only got to play in the snow on very rare occasions, and even when that happened it was for too short of a time. I never exhausted my play time in the snow. Even now, I can't find a way to muster up a disdain for driving and living in the snow. I know that it is an inconvenience, but the magic is so much bigger than that. I love the way the cold catches your breath. I love the way it captures your mind. There are no thoughts when you stand in the middle of snow but the snow itself. There is something inherently playful about snow, even though it is powerfully dangerous.

But, the thought on my mind tonight is how a snow storm happens in what feels like an instant. You go to bed one night in the green lush of grass and trees even a palette of color. And you wake to a transformed world of stark white. Then, we are left dealing with the ramifications there after. What we wear, how we drive, what we do, and so much of our day to day lives adjust because of this outside event. We can't change it; we simply must deal with it.

Isn't that how life happens? One moment falls, and we find ourselves scrambling to reorient ourselves inside this new reality. Whether your snow fall was a car crash, cancer, death, a move, a broken relationship, a lost job, or simple disappointment; may you find a way to see the snow for what it is. Snow changes our lives. But, it waters the ground that will one day thaw and give way to the new life coming in the spring. Beware of the dangers of the cold, but enjoy what is beautiful about the snow when it surrounds you.

What was Mary feeling when she was informed that she was to give birth? Peter when he heard the rooster crow? Paul standing there blinded on Damascus? Jesus walking toward the cross?

Soundtrack: Let it Snow

identity crisis

I have worn black to church every Sunday for the last four weeks. My bulldogs aren't doing well this year, and I wear black to mourn our loss the night before. I am a loyal fan. I am an alumna. Rooting for, fighting for, believing in the bulldogs is a part of my identity. (As much as anything temporal can be.) I will be a bulldog until the day I die. Proudly. We could loose every game from now until that day, and I would still tune in and cheer for my team. I would continue to celebrate the successes, no matter how minor, and mourn our losses no matter how major. Loyalty runs deep when you find yourself in the SEC. This commitment is the kind of loyalty that changes behavior, shapes values, and affects my mood.

On any given Sunday in the south you will find some pastor making the comparison of football as a religion because of the deep truth to it. We can rightly affirm that everything about a Saturday at Sanford Stadium is religious. From tailgating, wearing red and black, to ringing the victory bell; we have a liturgy, and it is followed religiously. I am pretty sure we could call the day my New Student Orientation leader had our group call the dawgs on the steps of the Tate Student Center in the shadows of Sanford Stadium a ritual of initiation.

As I reflect on the disappointment I have experienced this season I recognize similar reactions, feelings, and responses in my person to disappointments that I have had in my spiritual life.

We are given a new identity in Christ when we give our lives over to him. What happens when things do not follow the pattern we expected? What happens when we are disappointed by our God? Have we allowed the identity to so form us that our faith remains? Can we believe that there are no circumstances that could rock the foundation of our commitment to the Lord? Does your relationship with the Lord change your behavior, shape your values, and affect your feelings?

As I look back over this I am burdened to point out that I am not advocating for absolute blind faith, but instead I am encouraging us to walk in the faith that we have. I trust the submission of our lives to the Lord came with an appropriate season of testing and critical analysis. I wasn't born a UGA fan, but once I chose to be a bulldog, there was no turning back. That means I take the good with the bad as a fan, but as a Christian, true faith is commitment to the point of martyrdom if necessary, to singleness if necessary, to poverty if necessary, to disappointment if necessary. Faith is giving up one's own identity to join Jesus even to the cross for the sake of the world.

Soundtrack: Who let the dogs out, Baha Men; Glory Glory; & Sending, Charlie Hall.