identity crisis

I have worn black to church every Sunday for the last four weeks. My bulldogs aren't doing well this year, and I wear black to mourn our loss the night before. I am a loyal fan. I am an alumna. Rooting for, fighting for, believing in the bulldogs is a part of my identity. (As much as anything temporal can be.) I will be a bulldog until the day I die. Proudly. We could loose every game from now until that day, and I would still tune in and cheer for my team. I would continue to celebrate the successes, no matter how minor, and mourn our losses no matter how major. Loyalty runs deep when you find yourself in the SEC. This commitment is the kind of loyalty that changes behavior, shapes values, and affects my mood.

On any given Sunday in the south you will find some pastor making the comparison of football as a religion because of the deep truth to it. We can rightly affirm that everything about a Saturday at Sanford Stadium is religious. From tailgating, wearing red and black, to ringing the victory bell; we have a liturgy, and it is followed religiously. I am pretty sure we could call the day my New Student Orientation leader had our group call the dawgs on the steps of the Tate Student Center in the shadows of Sanford Stadium a ritual of initiation.

As I reflect on the disappointment I have experienced this season I recognize similar reactions, feelings, and responses in my person to disappointments that I have had in my spiritual life.

We are given a new identity in Christ when we give our lives over to him. What happens when things do not follow the pattern we expected? What happens when we are disappointed by our God? Have we allowed the identity to so form us that our faith remains? Can we believe that there are no circumstances that could rock the foundation of our commitment to the Lord? Does your relationship with the Lord change your behavior, shape your values, and affect your feelings?

As I look back over this I am burdened to point out that I am not advocating for absolute blind faith, but instead I am encouraging us to walk in the faith that we have. I trust the submission of our lives to the Lord came with an appropriate season of testing and critical analysis. I wasn't born a UGA fan, but once I chose to be a bulldog, there was no turning back. That means I take the good with the bad as a fan, but as a Christian, true faith is commitment to the point of martyrdom if necessary, to singleness if necessary, to poverty if necessary, to disappointment if necessary. Faith is giving up one's own identity to join Jesus even to the cross for the sake of the world.

Soundtrack: Who let the dogs out, Baha Men; Glory Glory; & Sending, Charlie Hall.